DEATH OR LIGHT BEER
In case you haven’t heard, Ed Hardy has a line of beers out. I wanted to carefully word that sentence so that it wasn’t construed as Ed Hardy was now brewing beer. To be honest, I’m not sure he could find the brewery if he had to, just as I’m sure he doesn’t frequent any of his clothing sweatshops in China. Well, if you’re reading this Ed, your beer is brewed by Cervecera Mexicana S.A. De C.V. in Pénjamo, Mexico. Not quite the brewing capitol of the world, but a lot of people do enjoy Mexican beers. The Ed Hardy line consists of two beers, Ed Hardy Premium Beer (Tiger) and Ed Hardy Death or Light Beer (Flaming Skull). The descriptions in parentheses tell what’s on each beer’s label but also, after a little research, I found out that they are also the nicknames for the beers and how the distribution company suggests them to be ordered at a bar. I will give them credit, the labels have some pretty impressive artwork on them, but that’s where the compliments stop.
Although this beer has been available for over two years, I have very rarely seen it during that time and really struggled to find when I was actually looking for it. Perhaps I’m just shopping at the wrong (right) beer stores. Luckily I was able to find a store that was selling single bottles of the Death or Light Beer. I say luckily because I really didn’t want to get stuck buying an entire 6-pack of it. Like I said earlier, the bottle had a cool flaming skull & crossbones with a dagger stabbed through it. After opening it, I was about to pour it into a glass but then stopped myself. I quickly thought about the typical customer that would be buying this beer. He or she would most likely want to keep the beer in the bottle. I mean what’s the point of buying a beer that matches the designer on your shirt, pants, hat, shoes, jacket, underwear and whatever else he has slapped a label on, if you are just going to pour that beer into a pint glass. I could even imagine one of their drinkers carrying both beer bottles around just for the added accessory factor. I did pour a little out just to get to see the color and open it up for aromatic purposes, but left most of it in the bottle. The color was a very light straw yellow, almost as if it was beer-tainted water. It did have noticeable carbonation and a decent head for such a little pour but that quickly vanished to a white ring that left behind no lacing. The smell was as faint as the color which, in this case, is actually a positive. The only thing detectable in the aroma was corn, which should be as muted as possible in these adjunct beers. As I took my first sip, I noticed the corn flavor was also pretty reserved in the taste as well. Unfortunately, that’s the only flavor there was, except for a slight sourness in the end. I’m really not exaggerating when I say it tasted like someone cut a light beer with carbonated water. I have tasted Michelob Ultra Light and that tastes like a double IPA compared to this beer. I can’t even begin to imagine how low the ABV% must be, but all we can do is imagine because I was not able to find it published anywhere. I was able find that the Premium had a 3.7%, so a light version of that is most likely somewhere in the 2’s. This means you are going to need to work in quite a few Jägerbombs if you plan on getting drunk while drinking these.
While this may not be the beer for me, I’m sure there is a whole subsection of people that enjoy it. It might be very refreshing after hours of fist-pumping or the taste may pair well with the combination of sweat, hair gel and spray-tan, but for me, it does nothing but redefine the term GTL; Gross Tasting Lager. Yea, buddy!