A beer to touch you…

We all make mistakes.  Some mistakes are as simple as locking your keys in the car. Other mistakes are slightly larger, for example, forgetting to let your dog out to the bathroom before you go todirty old man beer bed or leaving your kid at Chuck E. Cheese’s. Not surprisingly, there are also much, much worse mistakes…

Sports figures love to make huge mistakes!  In the last few years, we have heard about Ray Rice punching his wife in the face, Michael Vick sanctioning dog fights, and most recently Jason Pierre Paul losing his finger as a result of a fireworks incident.

Sport figures make some pretty dumb choices. One of the worse choices EVER was made by the mighty Joe Paterno. Joe decided to hide the fact that he had a kiddie toucher on his football staff.

You have likely heard about Jerry Sanduski.  Without going into detail, he was guilty of molesting children at Penn State. Paterno knew about this and did nothing about it. It was national news and he got in a lot of trouble for it.

Years later in the infinite wisdom of “Hey this is great idea!” the Pittsburgh PA based Duquesne Brewing Company has decided to come out with the Duquesne Lager Paterno Legacy Series beer. That is correct, they are making a beer in honor of tight lipped Joe.

The beer can will list all of Mr. Paterno accomplishments. Among those accomplishments were Paterno’s 409 wins, an iconic number for which the beer is named. The can will also list Paterno’s 24 bowl victories, 79 All-Americans and 49 Academic All-Americans. All of those achievements will be placed directly in the hands of those who purchase the beer. This is likely good news for Paterno’s family, they are currently fighting for the coach’s legacy.

The beer itself is a Vienna-style lager. It will be available in mid-August, and will come in 12-oz. cans featuring Paterno’s image. The brewery says it is working with the Paterno family on the beer. A portion of the proceeds will go to the charities they support.

In all honesty, that is a lot of crap to put on a can. You can see the prototype can here. In a world filled with tons of awesome people who deserve a beers named after them, Paterno does not top the list. He would not even break the top 1000 people. If sports figures need to be honored in beer, let’s acknowledge Vince Lombardi.  How about Joe Torre?  Hell, Dan Marino and Charles Barkley are legends who never won anything.  Those guys definitely not only deserve a beer, but NEED a beer.

The point is, there better choices than Joe Paterno to honor with a beer.